Friday, January 19, 2007

The Daily Crumb is sued

Today in the news old people keep dribbling on their furniture. All furniture from an elderly home or an elderlys personal house is being taken away immediately.


Also in the news The Daily Crumb, local news reporter has been sued for making some news up.
A while ago a man in a wheel chair came to our office's. In our report of the incident he ended up being eaten by a dragon.
Now obviously somewhere along the line the dragon spat him out because he's come back to sue us.
The man originally came from the Custard Factory claiming he hadnt been interviewed after a bunch of magpies ambushed him and left him on the edge of life.
We actually did interview him when he was unconcious, we've got it on tape.

We're going in court today, Tony Blair will not be backing us up he said.
"The Daily Crumb are backstabbing murderous rampaging theives who should all be locked up, it's unfortunate its only a sue."

Sue, our lawyer said, "You cant make anything funny about this guys, this is a serious matter. Hey, i put butter on my nose to try and get it out of a stuck locker. It slipped out but i ended up falling on a wooden table which broke in half causing nothing less than a riot in our house! Anyway, what evidence do you have that a dragon does really excist?"

The Daily Crumb followed this up with pulling out the Dragon.

Sue: "There's nothing there Crumb..."

"There's a Dragon there Sue."

The court went quiet this evening as Sue was eaten by a dragon.



Three people want to sue the Daily Crumb.
  1. The man in the wheel chair
  2. Tony Blair
  3. and Sue the Lawyer

Find out more next time.

- Nathan (munch) Viney

coming soon, video review of the new upcoming Biteycastle game by Adam Phillips

Deleted Scene

Interview with the Custard factory man:
Why do you plan to sue us?
Everything we said was true, you just couldnt see past your eyes.
ye man, its a problem i have
its those lead walls i had installed in my eyeballs
Is Tony Blair going along with it? He said himself in an interview we were murderous idiots.
he might
What exactly did he say to you?
he said he liked my eyes
and that his wife would like me to join them
i replied with a swift right hook to the eye socket
And what evidence do you have that the dragon WAS NOT real?
i saw the guys feet
Your not going to sue us for filming your unconcious body as well are you?
not at all, not at all
did i perform well?
Twitching is always an actors pride
I try, I try...
Tell me, what made you go ahead and sue us anyway?
the flying Death Monkeys made me do it
What made you film my unconscious body in the first place may I enquire
No reply I see.
Well I may go ahead and sue you, as you cannot be civil enough to inform me as to your motives when filming me whilst unconcious
Tell me though Nathan
You dont mind me calling to Nathan, do you?
its Monkey typewriter dude actually
Tell me, 'Monkey Typewriter Dude', how exactly did you manage to render me unconscious for such a long period of time?
you were attacked by magpies, dont you remember?
I can't say I do, dear fellow.
Though I severly doubt the credibility of this statement as there has been no visible damage to my outer person
Well, in the words of Tony Blair, The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes


No comments:

Post a Comment