Thursday, February 08, 2007

War on the Crumb part 1: Studio under ambush!!!

Today in the news a bald man looked in a mirror.
Also in some slightly more important news THE DAILY CRUMB offices were ambushed by a pack of news reporters and lawyers named "Sue." It is reported that it IS a very common name these days.
It seems, as been told through a mega phone by a group of fat people with "Close down the Crumb" on their shirts that they'd been planning this attack for quite a while.
Nathan (monkey) "Where's Daniel?"
Monkey: "Umm, over there, staring out the window."
Nathan: "Throw him out there for bait, but dont tell him i said so."
Monkey: "Yes, monkey leader."
Just in! The Daily Crumb have thrown the smartest man in the world into the pack of reporters and lawyers, they are sueing him alive.
Monkey: "What now boss?"
Monkey: "Shall i get the raptor?"
Nathan: *whispers: It dosent exist.*
Monkey: "Oh right, oh dear... boss, TONY BLAIR'S IN THE TOILET!"
Nathan: "Perfect, he'll get taken down by the press for being in the building."
Monkey: "But he only came over to have some pizza, you invited him."
Nathan: "Why are you talking, throw him to the sues!"
Monkey: "Sir." *nods*

With packs of people at the back of the DAILY CRUMB offices the side has collapsed in, a pipe seems to have broken and shot the priminister of the United Kindom into the sky along with a tiny monkey.
Nathan: "Ok, ok, think think. JUST-IN! Throw Just-in out there!"
Monkey2: "Yes sir."

A small child has just been thrown out into the crowd, blood has been shead. Also in the news it seems as if the mosh pit of people outside the offices are setting fire to the building with flameing marshmellows on sticks.
*Phone rings*
Nathan: "Yes? Oh, hi Daniel (Vector) Kerr... yeh, those monkies are crazy. LET YOU BACK IN? are you insane!"
*hangs up*

"ok ok think think"

Latest news: The whole backside of THE DAILY CRUMB offices has collapsed into itself and is soaring into a pack of flames extremely fast.

The Daily Crumb started when a Nathan Viney opened up a news reporting system involving a group of monkeys writing odd articles. Since then every article they have written is contaminated with lies.
- The Sun
It is said that Nathan Viney is hiding under his bed as the building he once owned and wrote for goes down in flames. The fire engines and services are arriving as fast as they can, the RSPC has also made an appearance.
- The London Times
(I aint hiding under my bed! I'm hiding under my desk the liars!)
John Howard said farewell to his position of cheif of Tim Burton fan club today as he says he's too busy with 'Less important' things. It is being discussed whether he should stay in position as Priminister.
- The Daily Crumb

Nathan: "I know! I'll throw pencils out the window and hope they stick into peoples brains! At least i still have internet access! THE CRUMB WILL NEVER DIE!"
The Police: "Come out quietly, we have slowed down the mob, we can protect you."
*throws pencil.*
The Police: "AGH MY BRAIN!"
Nathan: "I guess this will be my log. Ay i hope we have that vanilla coke i ordered off ebay here somewhere, no dont write that down you idiot monkey!"
*Throws pencil, monkey dies*
Nathan: "Oops, diunt worri ilklb wite da cwurm istead. i dunt ned thos moonckees. i can spel perfetly of coursh. AGH its ni youse! Iem DOOme*d"
Adam: "Gday Munch, you've run out of toilet roll, i ended up doing a mid-dump on the stairs. It wasent a pretty sight. Anyway, i have a wee waiting for me in the toilet, be right back."
Nathan: "NO NO! WAIT! Adam, i wouldnt go to the toilet, and also. Can you write the crumb for me?
Adam: "Sure i will mate. You tell me what to write and ill jot it down as good as i can."
Nathan: "As.. good as.. ok, ok right. Listening?"


- Nathan (munch) Viney

cool Aardman links:
Shaun of the sheep tv series trailer
Wallace and Gromit Were rabbit mug advert.

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