Thursday, August 21, 2008

Apple Biscuits

Inside the mug of warm mud Benjamin Biscuitboy had placed a delightful worm. It wriggled into the thick soil and eventually melted in the heat.
He giggled!
He then grabbed a black texta from a box beside him and began drawing lines on his arms and face.
Suddenly the circular speaker on the wall shuddered. Queen get your head out of the clouds screamed through. "Biscuit boy! Biscuits! NOW!"
This is the story of Benjamin Biscuitboy
He put the texta down and walked over to the wall. The wall was showered in wooden shelves, on every shelf was a medium sized barrel. Inside each barrel were one hundred hand made biscuits.
He picked up the barrel and then made for the stone stairs up to the main room.

"You were so slow biscuit boy. Your title does not even deserve capital letters, or to be spoken. Thy fathers would look down on you and say that those biscuits were bare. Where is the variety? They would say, maybe you had no heart in your trade."
The Queen sat on a high throne speaking down to Benjamin.
"My love is not in making biscuits your majesty."
She dribbled. "Well hand me the barrel and i will judge whether you will keep your head."
He handed her the barrel of biscuits. She picked one out, stared at it and then threw it into her mouth. She shook her head.

Princess Artistic came in urgently from a side door. "Benjamin! You can make apple biscuits!"
Queen get your head out of the clouds shuddered. "What is the meaning of this? OFF WITH THE BISCUIT BOYS HEAD!"
The guards grabbed Benjamin and pulled him backwards.
"Wait, NO!" screamed Princess Artistic. She ran over to the Queen and asked her to place a nice piece of apple on top of a biscuit.
The Queen did this and then swallowed another biscuit. She suddenly smiled.
This lightened up the room, the Princess may have just saved the biscuit boys life.
The Queen mumbled and then said, "Thats it, i have made my decision."
Benjamin was almost sure this would mean he could be released.
"Yes, my decision is this. Princess Artistic will be the new biscuit boy! ON WITH YOUR WORK EVERYONE! Daughter, go down to the cellar, burn that old boys stuff and set up work. I want three barrels of APPLE BISCUITS by sundown or you will be for the slice."
"But you cannot kill a Princess!"
"I can when she is a biscuit boy! NOW GO! GET OUT OF MY EYE LINE YOU FILTHY SMALL PEOPLE!"

Benjamin did not have his head chopped off. Instead he was given a new job, sitting in the oven with the biscuits.
Whilst both Princess Artistic and Benjamin worked together, they became better friends. Both of them worked hard to produce brilliant Apple Biscuits.
Soon, the Queen was not enough.
Soon they were asked to produce biscuits for the whole kingdom. They worked harder and harder until finally, the whole kingdom was BUILT BY BISCUITS.

- The Daily Crumb


  1. You just WAIT until they discover cheese and crackers. Oh man.

    (PS, just checked out your profile, you have amazing taste! Which everyone knows is code for 'the same as mine!')

  2. wow great! we must be related.... mentally? or sumthin.... ahem. :D
    and yeah i cant believe they have not tried cheese and crackers yet.