Today in the news a magician was arrested for pulling his own head off and the filling his insides with gallons of coca-cola. He then asked a volunteer to pour a bowl of melted icecream down the hatch.
After all of this he placed his head back on and shook. "Bring back vanilla coke": The mime said at the time.
The town centre he stood in was covered in blood and he did eventually die in a glass cell later on of blood loss. Also in the cell was a mime working out where he was which is a rather interesting story in itself.
"After hours of feeling the walls i am sure i am in a glass box." We spoke to an officer in the station a little earlier on, "We arrested this soul for dressing up as a stereotypical burgualar. Oh i am sorry, suddenly the Pink Panther theme tune has gotten lodged in my skull."
More on that story on page 312 beside the comic strips.
Invisible Frank meets Benjamin
Benjamin Biscuitboy was making a cooling mixture with the help of some apples on the side. Princess Artistic had worked all day and was trying to get her head over how she died and came back to life since the first story.
The wooden door of the basement knocked.
Benjamin stood silent staring at the wood, waiting for something. Suddenly the circular speaker on the wall buzzed, "Hello? This is Queen get your head out of the clouds! i demand an explanation for Mr. Frank's invisible biscuit!"
Invisible Frank crashed through the door ready to shake someones hand. "Invisible Frank," he said.
Artistic woke with the bang and ran into the basement. "You dont look invisible."
"It is just a name," Invisible Frank frowned, "Passed down by family, maybe one of my grandparents were invisible. Who knows? I'M HERE TO MAKE A COMPLAINT!"
Benjamin fell backwards causing a pan to fall and clash onto the stone. "About?"
"I ordered a biscuit from your website, EBiscuit.com. And it came in a package today and guess what? IT WAS INVISIBLE!!? EXPLAIN THAT!"
Princess Artistic turned to Benjamin hoping for a reason.
"I cannot explain it... how do you know it is even there if it is invisible Mr. Frank?" Benjamin asked politely.
Mr. Frank Invisible smiled suddenly, "I took it up to Mt. C-c-c-COLD and held it up in the blowing snow, there i saw the shape of the biscuit in the wind. Plus it has a weight."
Princess Artistic was reading a large book in the background, "Frank, i must let you know this. It says in the Kingdom history books the Invisible family were cursed to turn things they held invisible. The curse appears at your age in life."
"Oh..."
The basement went silent apart from the Queens crackly breathing whilst she listening in. "NOPE! That is not it!" Benjamin Biscuit broke into the silence. "You said it arrived invisible, before you even touched it."
"Oh yes."
"I dont see what he is complaing about, if its got weight its going to taste just the same," Princess Artistic mumbled.
"Shh," Benjamin said smiling, "The thing is Frank Invisible. We dont actually have a website called Ebiscuit.com. I think you were ripped off into buying an invisible biscuit!"
"Hazah for Benjamin Biscuitboy!" Frank squeeled.
He turned away smiling, "Goodbye you fellows, and thankyou for your service!" The moment he touched the door knob the whole door turned invisible. He then disapeared up the stairs.
"Thats going to be a problem," Artistic muttered. "Well Benjamin! You saved the day once again! Who would have thought he was ripped off by some no-bodies."
"Well, he was! I just didnt package anything into the box! I had to make that little story up about not having a website. But we do actually. I put a toad in the box, that is probably what the shape that formed was. Wonder why he didnt think it was an odd shaped biscuit?" Benjamin giggled, "It was a one off joke! Didnt think anyone would notice."
"OH REALLY?"
Queen get your head out of the clouds spoke. "You do know jokes are illegal in my kingdom."
"Yes... miss."
"That was not a question."
"It sounded like one."
"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"
Princess Artistic spoke, "Are you talking to me?"
"No.. there are some guards with me at the moment, hold on. Yes, go down there and chop his head off. Good. Fine, fantastic!"
The room shrunk around Benjamin as he shook in fear, "Oh golly gosh. I forgot jokes were illegal now!"
Princess Artistic felt tears fall down her cheek. "What are we going to do?"
"Hug?"
"Okie."
And the guards stormed down the steps. Running for Benjamin in the basement, staring at him. Eye to eye.
And then they all crashed at a fast pase into the invisible closed door.
"Oop!"
They collapsed backwards as a huge pile of crumpled up guards. Soon the armour went quiet.
One guard pulled himself up and started moving his hand around the invisible wall he just shot into. He could not understand it.
Benjamin and Princess Artistic giggled and continued making biscuits.
- The Daily Crumb
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