Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Golden Star Pub Sundays

The Golden Star Pub Sundays has finally released information on the upcoming events.

Sunday 17th August:

That is all.

The Daily Crumb is writing a messege.

'Maggots in Gravy the toasted and sealed beef and chicken roast factory' released some news today.
They said they would no longer be giving away cheap meat slabs in packets with fillings of cold gravy. They have swapped to broken (recycled) plastic boxes to fill the mush up inside. This means, when you order from a 'Maggots in Gravy' vending machine your sealed meal may well be dribbling out of the box.

The prime minister had a few words to say about this.
Unfortunatly we did not record any of them.
So we've made it up.
The PM: "I hate that factory, my mother cut her fingers on the broken plastic of her sealed meal. What kind of service are we paying for in our vending machines? I've eaten three roast dinners with pieces of sharp plastic stuck in my potatoes. It is horrible and bad."
"It is horrible and bad."
We only quote the important bits.

We went to the offices of the factory today and knocked on the large metal door.
We heard a tiny voice, "Who is it?"
"We're not journalists."
So we were allowed in. Of course, when i say we, i mean me. Because the rest of The Daily Crumb are dead at the moment.
Inside we met the cheif of the industry Sir Beatleshot Berkunsphere. We added the 'Sir'.
He said, "I've just bought Son of Rambow the film on Amazon and i'm not sure when it is going to get here."
I told him to stay positive and everything would be fine.
He was happy and gave me a free plastic box of crushed up roast beef and a fork. When i attempted to pull off the lid it snapped in two firing a sharp piece of plastic into Beatleshots eye. I watched as the man bled on the ground.
Some tiny men stood around me mumbling a tune.

I left there hoping to meet Sir Smellalot. But he never met me to exchange articles.
Nathan is once alone again.

Then suddenly, over the hill Sir Smellalot appeared. "MY GOD, ITS SIR SMELLALOT! THE GREATEST SWORDSMAN IN THE LAND!"
I was overjoyed but he just passed me, didnt even notice me.

- The Daily Crumb

No comments:

Post a Comment