Monday, August 31, 2009

News at The Daily Crumb

The office is rather quiet at the moment here at Daily Crumb Studios. We have many rooms designated to different work areas. Writing, drawing, equipment, casting, kitchen...

I'm just looking at the schedule on the writing room door. At 10.00 this morning Jerome was in here. Oh yes i remember that, he came in dressed as cleopatra. Though as i recall he did nothing at all the whole time he was here. I think he just fell asleep on the keyboard, poor soul.

11:00 i met Para Cat in there for a hot chocolate. He's been trying to get the company to start up Stargazed again but it just won't happen, not yet. Para did try and enter the music scene recently but got pushed aside by the other 'various high voice' band 'Ekalopse', who recently got number 1 album.
I suggested he take part as an extra in our Doctor Who animation coming soon. We're doing some of the last bits of filming next week. I hope he can make it, a little bit of extra money i suppose.

But all in all i'm worried about Para Cat. I would not say this to his face but i just dont think his drawn image is one that could lead a film. He's not even popular enough to write his own bio. But i'm sure they'll have a place for him on 'I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here!'
But he will always be on my list.

12:00 Rehearsing. Matt Smith and David Tennant came in. When i looked in they were just dancing to a booming stereo. The monkeys went crazy! They started throwing paperwork all over the place.
(They were writing next weeks news)
Oops...

1:00 Nap time for the chimps in the centre office here. We're all working together now to get to you high quality film and written work.
None of the TWEETS on twitter are actually me. They are all written by Glen, a very smart monkey. He recently started here and updated us about this 'Twitter' world. Saying all the kids got it so why don't we?

Please email me if he says anything insulting.

Impact was in the kitchen earlier making some Pancakes for pancake day. I'm not sure when that is. But i suppose we'll be prepared here at The Daily Crumb.

Adam Phillips came in today actually. He came in his personal ToonBoom helicopter, almost ripped the side of the building off.
He asked if we wanted to put up some ToonBoom orange wallpaper around the place or perhaps try some tasty ToonBoom on a stick.
We declined but kept a bit of wallpaper rolled up in the equipment room incase we could be bothered to get off our lazy backsides and learn how to put it up.

Adam stayed for a while staring at our fish finger tank stolen from Bristol Museum's Banksy Exhibition.

You may have noticed we have more staff, more money, and a proper office. Rather than a grubby shed on the outskirts of Penny Lane.

This is because we actually found the end of the rainbow. We might tell you about that in a future film.

Oh! Sammy the Monkey has just turned off the lights which means it is a bye bye from me!
Sammy says bye as well. Hold on.

Sorry just asked him to turn the fan off. I find it funny when he has to stand on a chair to reach things and press buttons.

Ok goodnight The Daily Crumb readers and of course, those faithful victims of SPAM.
Have a nice day

- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Train Station

"The train station is quiet today."
"Excuse me?"
"I said the train station is quiet today."
"No i heard what you said. I was just wondering why you were speaking to me."
"Oh.. well it's just... there's no one else here to speak with."
"Yes, but what makes you think i want to speak?"
"I just..."
"Think you're being friendly were you? Well?"
"Yes."
"Well shut up then."
"Look mister, I do not like you speaking this way in front of my children."
"Throw em on the track then."
"What?"
"Bits of flesh scattered across the line. Horrible sight, shut em up though."
"Look mate. Shut up."
"This train station is huge. Why don't you just walk to the other side and sit your fat backside down on a free wooden bench?"
"Because you've offended me."
"So what you gunna do? Punch me, or stand there shaking and staring at me with your wonky eyes?"
"How dare you!"
"I dare! I dare! Go away!"
"You have offended both me and my family!"
"Stating the obvious again. Do something about it!"
"You just wait."
"I have been."
"Come on children."
"Yeah. Shove off!"
"If you speak to me like that again i'll..."
"What? What ya gunna do?"
"Come on kids."
"There ya go. Nothing, ya gunna do nothing."

*

"Oh Sam you've spilt Ribena on your jacket! Riannon, what book did you buy?"
"HEY!"
"Ooo, that looks like it's a good one. Think you'll finish it?"
"HEY!"
"Thought you didn't want to talk!"
"No... i don't.
"Then shut up then. How many pages is it? Uh oh! Ha ha, think you'll be able to read all that?"
"Um."
"WHAT?"
"What book is it?"
"Why do you care?"
"I like reading."
"What book is it darling?.. ok.. It's The Three Wishes by Terry Swanfield!"
"I LOVE THAT ONE!"
"Then stop shouting and come over here."
"Ooo lovely!"
"Victim to a good story are we?"
"Yes yes!"
"What's your name?"
"Kenny Brown."
"I'm Pete Songcliff. Nice to meet you."
"Sorry about earlier. I sometimes lack social skills at awkward times."
"That's ok. Do you want some Ribena? We bought a whole pack."
"Yes please!"
"Sam, give the nice man a drink please."
"This is nice. When is the next train coming anyway?"
"Not too long i hope. We're all off north to see their mother."
"You kids must be excited!"
"They sure are! Their mums been sitting there waiting for us for months!"
"Oh, whats she doing up north?"
"It's where we buried her. Was her preferred place."
"Oh i'm so sorry."
"It's ok. HEY! I brought my camera. I'll take some pictures."
"Aaah family photos ay. I'm actually on a job trip. I'm missing my family already."
"Got any kids?"
"Just a new born baby and a beautiful wife. I've been a bit grumpy because i have to leave them so often for work!"
"Understandable. Smile Sam!"
"How long has your wife been dead? Sorry, i mean.. passed... away?"
"Haha, it's ok! A week."
"A week?"
"Yeah."
"Oh i'm sorry, i do not mean to sound disrespectful."
"Riannon! Give us a wave and say CHEESE! A few family shots for the album!"
"Do you have a job?"
"Yep, i own a book shop."
"Good pay?"
"It's ok, hey! Who says we get a picture of Kenny Brown? Hey hey!"
"Noooo, not me haha!"
"They say so! they must think you're great, like a long lost uncle."
"Well okay then! I feel appreciated. Sorry again for earlier."
"As i said! It's fine! Now stand back, gotta get a good photo."
"Have you ever done photography?"
"No."
"Oh. haha ok!"
"Back a bit further."
"Righto."
"Just a little bit more."
"Fine."
"And a little bit more."
"Ow!"
"Get out uncle Kenny! I hear the train!"
"I think i've broken my leg. Quick! I need help. Pull me up!"
"THIS IS ME! DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! NEVER OFFEND ME OR MY FAMILY AGAIN!"

*SPLAT*

"Right! Your mother is expecting us."

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A message from the Creation Kingdom

"Hi.
My name is Gerald Pee Francis. I'm nothing special, just Queen Get Your Head Out of the Clouds side guy. The guy that collects the biscuits and washes her clothes. It is not much of a life really. When i was younger my dream was to live a free life among the fresh grass under Pixie Bridge. But once the Queen ordered the pixies to be made into biscuits the grass died and the bridge turned into dust.
So now i'm just little old me. I've got plenty of friends but none of them i could call a 'best'. I occasionally talk to Benjamin Biscuitboy and Princess Artistic the apple princess. Well actually they're on their honeymoon.
I sent them a message through the power of smoke. Basically because they left the kingdom the Queen has ordered them to be killed as soon as they get back. This is quite a shame as they seemed a nice couple.
Though this has happened in the past and their delightful apple biscuits saved their lives. I do hope they can find a new exciting flavor to save their lives this time.

Lawrence Lillian Labeetlemack sits by me, he makes her warm mud hot chocolates. He is so rude to the other workers. Just because he's at the top with the Queen and I.
I've never become big headed you see. I realise that one word and my head would be rolling down the tall kingdom steps. My blood used to add a mix of flavor to the Queen's next hot chocolate.
In a line of people i'm the guy you've had a laugh with but do not know my name. This saddens me. When will i find my friend, or even my apple princess like ol' Benjamin?

Or is it just my middle name that puts people off?

- Gerald Pee Francis"

Impact

Today in the news cold air flocking in from the past.

Now sitting quietly in a little pebble alley is a man. He wears a top hat and a bow tie.
Passing him folks sing "Get a job!" Though they are young and unfortunately uneducated.
This man sitting quietly reading a new novel from writer Terry Swanfield is the man that taught you to play cricket in the street. He is the man that taught you that eating a warm donut was ok and not abnormal.
He is and will always be the man that draws absolutely hilarious drawings on gravestones of famous people.
He boasts that he got the first kiss in history and was the first to get crushed by a giant stone.
He was the only one to reach Pluto and the only man to have slid down a hill of baked beans with a face painted as Spiderman.

This man is only known by a nick name. That nick name is IMPACT on you.

IMPACT has been known for sitting in this pebble street for years. He has never been arrested for polluting a grassy hill with baked beans.
The police are too afraid to approach him due to the fact that he really smells.

The End

You can email him at swanfieldfan@gmail.com

- The Daily Crumb

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Animation News 22/08/09

Today in the news music entertains the mind put pushes the thoughts away

A little bit of animation news this week. As we do like to follow these things up. If you've seen us on Twitter you will probably know a bit of it.

First off information has been released that they will be making another animated Doctor Who episode titled, "Dreamland."
As i write this an icecream van drives past with the musical pollution interrupting my blasting speakers. On the side of the van are various Disney characters. Soon after this an ASDA delivery van drives up the road and now the street is clogged up.
I'm not sure whether the dingy bell musical tune coming from the van quite matches Blur: Song 2.

Back to the news. The episode will be written by a man named Phil Ford who's first Doctor Who episode (Collaboration with Russell T Davies) will be 'The Waters of Mars' coming soon to BBC one.
The picture released is below.

Click for larger image.
Now that looks quite impressive to me. Better than their last attempt 'The Infinite Quest.' The Infinite Quest had completely different designs. It put me off because the only movement was in the eyes or mouth with some occasional arm movements.
It just did not feel alive at all, apart from the 3D animation which seemed good.
I am looking forward to Dreamland and the preview image looks juicy. Though i am jealous that i am not working on the project.
The Infinite Quest 2D was animated in Adobe Flash if i remember correctly though this one may possibly be entirely 3D. But i will try and double check. Looks good though.
The Infinite Quest below


Next up on BBC 3 a show about putting tents up illegally

So!
Back with a bit more animation news.
Not quite as big as the Doctor Who news but still great.
Everyone knows that TOY STORY 3 is being produced and will be released next year dont they?

Just a little info i've gathered is that whole new models of pretty much every character (and everything) had to be built for the third installment. Because it has been a few years the original ones were obviously not kept.

This means not only will they fit into a new Ratatouille-like environment-ish. They have also made them easy to move with all of the new techiniques they've learnt with 3D.
I know the word but really can't think of it on the spot. Basically the skeleton that controls what you can move on a 3d model.

So he is their new SHINY selves.

Click for larger image.
I recommend it. (Clicking for larger)

The Daily Crumb, the paper without a bibliography.

So! There are 2 things to look forward to. As well as Pixar's UP and Ghibli's PONYO. And of course David Tennants 3 final episodes.

and on BBC 2 now a panel show with the awkward silences cut out.

My next animation is
Doctor Who Preview Clip 2010 or possibly Doctor Who Matt Smith meets David Tennant.
not sure yet.
It is moving very slowly because i want to listen to music instead. (Not very good at multitasking)
Anyway heres a screenshot of one of the weaker moments.

Coming up on BBC 1 a well written drama with a limited budget.



- The Daily Crumb




Thursday, August 20, 2009

AVATAR

Today in the news Samuel L Jackson was spotted having a picnic with his children. He made them tuna sandwiches and brought some blackcurrent juice in a variety bottle pack.
Afterwards he said, "It's just something i have to do as a Dad."
Samuel L Jackson has no children.

The Daily Crumb's Web Eye Computer had a lot of help from Twitter's Trending Topics. Next week we look at the amazing Joseph Jonas and what he has brought to this world? Who is he?
A trailer for a film released worldwide December 18

Strangely enough, it is titled AVATAR.


- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Daily Crumb's WebEye

Today in the news baggage makes it past airport security

Based on various complaints sent in to The Daily Crumb concerning 'THE NEWS OF THE WORLD' we've had to destroy the A.I random World Map computer machine.
Such complaints will for ever be hidden from the eye of the public.

But we have recently bought a new machine. The WebEye Computer. We got it off of ebay, bidding was going up fast but we ended up offering the best price.
Today it arrived in a big cardboard box with FRAGILE written on the side.

The WebEye finds only the BEST content online and gives it to you with a smile.

On the first and maybe the last day the WebEye is searching the internet for content that will blow your mind.


Cart

A film by Jesse Rosten
videobelow




Hope you enjoyed the film.
This is the directors website
http://jesserosten.com/

---

Hey i think it did a good job.

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I've invented a waste of your time

Today in the news fisherman discovers nettle monster living at sea.
Also
I have actually invented a waste of your time
video below
video


- The Daily Crumb

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Crystal of Life released

Today in the news the full head that sits on the shoulders asks why not just think away.

Blimey leh octopus bites! Corp
or
Blob. Corp for short has just released its latest feature.

A little bit of history. I've been at college with Matthew Menhenick for a few years now. So it came a time to ask what he feared most. He said it was an Octopus because they bite him. This is where the name originally came from.

So somewhere in Blob's world Monk and Jiratchi (From the 'Journey for the Architect' music video on The Daily Crumb youtube page) are walking and minding their own business (Like any soap opera character). Soon Jiratchi meets a fantastic new character named KIP.

And KIP shows Jiratchi his forest.
You'll have to watch to find out what happens next.
video below


Now as usual you can catch up with everything Matthew Menhenick, his great storytelling and his cruddy computer are up to at blobcorp.blogspot.com

Just so everyone knows Matt said exactly this on his twitter "@Blobcorp I am going to set fire to the RMN COPZ characters faces and watch them cry."

I hope you enjoy his film and keep up with others he works on.

- The Daily Crumb

15/08/09

Today in the news Patrick Stewart laughs off pregnancy rumours

New Ponyo Trailer

Today in the news horse smokes pipe but by his own accordian.

Also
Disney released another trailer of the english adaption of Ponyo on a Cliff by the Sea.

My only complaint maybe is the little girls voice sounds too old unlike the original version. But still, it is clear from the trailer that we're going to be in for a visual treat.
Though while America are enjoying that treat on their big screens at this very moment we are sat here waiting for ... possibly a DVD release?

We may not get Ponyo untill Fed next year folks in the UK. Australia may get it THIS month. I am not sure why the UK seems to be getting everything so late. It is rather annoying.
But here we are with the new trailer that pretty much gives away the whole story. But it is worth a watch just for the beautiful artwork.
video below



PIXAR's UP (9th October)
We may be getting Toy Story 3 in July when it is released all around the world in June next year. (Not the biggest wait but still seems unfair.)
We got Ratatouille LATE, Wall-e LATE (But earlier than Australia at that time)

LATE LATE LATE
Talking of which Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is yet to be released. Something i am not that excited about anyway. The only difference in story looks like the Mad Hatters got a bigger part. I have an image of him as the tin man, scarecrow or lion walking with Alice as a best buddy.

Out with the old, in with the new.
I thought id post the trailer for the animated film, Ferngully. A beautiful rainforesty film with magic, nature and Tim Curry as a bad guy.

I also watched number 2 and it almost killed me. Way too long and boring and the absense of Robin Williams annoyed me.
video below



Somewhere in our dusty storage room we found a very old device. This device was invented by a Mr. Anney Ignorcube. As an inventor the world despised him.
Mr. Ignorcube was actually the first man to invent computer technology but the world ignored him until further years.
His computer was named the
Anney. IgnorCube. Computer World Map.
or A.I.C.World Map for short.
His machine could, with the press of a button pinpoint a random location on earth and give us a random piece of information about that place. Some of the local news. It sometimes even picks up CCTV footage or something broadcast on the local TV channels.

Today the World Map has chosen Sydney, Australia.


Adam Phillips of (www.bitey.com) is working on an Dungeons and Dragons cartoon.
"The new D&D short I'm animating will be absolutely epic.. perhaps a little too epic. Seeking permission to post a prelim screenie on Twitter"
Adam has also been working on a script for a personal project set for the future. Another online series perhaps.
Check out his progress from here
Also there seems to be a dog useing up Adam's phone bill.


- The Daily Crumb

Friday, August 14, 2009

The big question

Today in the news cereal box sues jokers

John Lasseter answers a very interesting question. (With Lee Unkrich, the cake guy)
video below



DailyCrumb
ok so @leeunkrich does not wear a "3" shirt all the time BUT does John Lasseter live in a car?

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, August 13, 2009

We've got the new(s)

Today in the news it is past the time of brightening the day but the night still needs to be lit.

Talking of which
Lee Unkrich, the director of next years Toy Story 3 proved to me in the last week that he is a worthy director.
(Apart from the fact he made a lot of the earlier films what they are today)

This was, shoving his head into a cake.
He did this, posting on his youtube account as a celebration of getting 5000 followers on his Twitter account.

Video below:


The Daily Crumb is proud to be Lee's very first subscriber on youtube.

Now it is time for


Today the the A.I World Map has chosen Japan.
This is Masamichi Toyama

No he is not a mad scientist. He makes soup. He seems to be eating seaweed or pea soup.
Soup Stock is a soup selling soup company that has spread in super numbers across Japan. Masamichi believes his quality of food is perfection. These words were not taken from his mouth.

"Worry not women of Japan! Because Soup Stock is designed in a simpler and more comfortable fashion than perhaps Mcdonalds or any other fast food grease house. You do not have to worry about being attacked! So sit down and relax, and do not complain about our perfect soup."
Ronald Mcdonald has been known for attacking Japanese women.

Masamichi did actually work at KFC. Obviously this hit a nerve and caused him to run off and make his own fast food joint. "Why do they all have big electric signs?"

Looking at the picture it is not only a soup shop but also a library.

So if you are in Japan in the next few years please stop by one of the fifty something Soup Stock Super Shops and say hi to Marasumi Matashimo for us. (I'm sure that was his name)

This was news of the world.


- The Daily Crumb

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Jerome leaves Penny Lane

Today in the news midgets attack Courtney Leacock in his sleep.

Also in the news.
This photo was taken earlier today

Jerome is going on holiday for a while to get over the loss of his owner, Tomothy. Tomothy sadly passed away at Christmas time.
It has taken a lot out of Jerome and the rest of the family.
"I feel like everything in the street reminds me of him, he was a brilliant friend to me all of my life, even when he was ignoring me."
Jerome has caught the plane to Sydney, Australia where he will be staying with famed animator Adam Phillips.
Adam's twitter recently said
Chluaid: "Reminder to self, don't give Jerome alcohol again"

Penny Lane has of course been silent since.The street has darkened in colour.
Since the film crew left no one has attempted to take care of the street. Tomothy's family are silent as well as all of his friends. Though Yo, who actually has a broken leg at the moment and Vinnie did make an appearance at the airport to wave Jerome off.

Kapet Straw is actually in a coma at the moment in the local hospital but there has been no sign of him awaking.
Due to this news report the man with the crazy hair and helmet will actually know where to hunt down Jerome and capture him. So watch out Adam Phillips...

Goodnight Penny Lane. We will miss you.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Screenshot for Matt

Today in the news i think it appropriate that i find out the news when i wake up and not before i've actually gone to sleep ready for today.

Anyway
Like me Matt of BlobCorp.blogspot.com, brilliant and enthusiastic animator loves his previews.

So i thought id take a pic of a quick movie clip i did today of a 2d Tardis simply flying through space.

Click for larger

So there you go Matt.

Au revoir everyone

- The Daily Crumb

7/9/09 Twitter

Today in the news journalists are getting fatter.
This is fact. You may have once seen them rushing through the streets with microphones and notepads. But no more.
Your average journalist is now sitting at a computer watching various celebrity twitter accounts.
"This person said this on their twitter but immediately deleted the 'tweet' leaving some speculation."

Yesterday i mentioned how the media and broadcasting companies take complaints very seriously. Saying this, celebrities on 'twitter' must really watch what they say as these fat journalists will be on them on like a hawk.
Though this is only the celebrity bothering news that people deny being interested in. The real news is not individual peoples lives but the bigger picture. A picture that has to be seen with the eyes and not just read in summary form as a 'tweet'. So in those cases journalists are running around and away from things burning off the cookie fat.

You may not have noticed this but a lot of the news these days comes straight from twitter.
Twitter was even one of the first places to find out about Michael Jackson playing dead.


So watch out! Caus it'll get you!


- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, August 06, 2009

BBC Complaints

Today in the news Toyota, robots in disguise.

Why are broadcasting companies so serious about 'complaints'? I must be wrong in thinking once upon a time the BBC had a 'praise' button.
I personally want my praise read and replied to. I don't want to do it 'via the webform on our Frequently Asked Questions site.'
Complaints are the only things that get replied to because everyone takes them so seriously! Look at Jonathan Ross or The Chaser team on the ABC. They make one little mistake, someone watching tv eating sausages and mash off of their laps says "HEY, i reckon someone will be offended by that. FINALLY A CHANCE TO CONTACT THE BBC! Finally a chance to BE SOMEONE!" If you wanna be someone! Get Twitter!
So they send their complaint in.
Add one more and someone's career goes down the drain for half a year.

hello there! I'd really like to complain but the BBC are just so brilliant. Ongoing chocolate coated television from cbbc to bbc 3. Though i didn't really like the adult season... anyway. I was thinking, what you need is a sketch show, something on bbc 4 so it is does not become known fast. Something like The Chasers War on Everything. If you like, i will volunteer to be a part of it. Anyway.. actually, where do i go to throw up ideas to the BBC? Also, how are you? I do love the BBC. I love most of it's TV and pretty much feed off of iPlayer. Dont let those complaints about the Eastenders Danielle story get you down, it was fantastic. thanks for being so great! (Sorry for all of the food references)

- From Mr. Jerald West


Will they say thankyou for the wonderful praise? Thankyou for being a viewer!?
Well just to make sure they actually do reply i sent a rather serious issue of mine.

Hi i just want to complain about the heart throbbing at the beginning of Holby City. It always makes me really tense and not calm and ready to watch the show. Unfortunately after that i tend to switch off the television.

From a Mrs. Tom Haywood (That was a mistake to make :O)

Both written on the 4/8/09


The BBC replied on 6/8/09



Dear Mr West

Thank you for your e-mail.
I was pleased to learn of your huge appreciation for BBC programming and that you're also a fan of BBC iPlayer. I note that you'd like to be able to submit some programme ideas to us. More information on show ideas and working for the BBC can be found on our Commissioning website
I hope you continue to enjoy the BBC and I can assure you that I've registered your comments on our audience log.


Jamie Patterson
BBC Complaints

Well i'm a friendly person and always like to reply saying "Thanks." But unfortunately the email was a specific one that would never be answered.
I'm not going to annoy them again by sending a complaint saying "Thankyou for replying to my praise."

So there we have it!
The first to be replied to was the praise.
I dont like the fact that they feel they have to reply to all of these complaints anyway. That is unless of course a HUGE variety of people are sending in. But the one stupid idiot that has been offended by what someones said should not get his voice heard and should not have an impact on what is broadcast.

Today brings us yet another complaint response.

Dear Mrs Haywood

Thanks for your e-mail about 'Holby City'.
I understand that you dislike the start of the title music as it makes you tense and causes you to switch off the TV.
I'm sorry that you're unnerved by this music, in particular the heart beat at the start. It's never our intent to upset viewers. The title music has been specially composed for the programme and we feel it adds to the theme of the show.
Regards

Leanne Bennett
BBC Complaints

These people get paid to reply to millions of messeges. It still seems a waste and time and money. They got back to me so fast!
I do not really have an ongoing point here... well i do. That is when you make a small complaint people DO take it seriously. I'm not sure WHY but they do.

My little complaint about Holby City will have been passed and talked about around at least 2 or 3 people by now. Maybe more. But it does get out there.
The difference with my complaint was that the end result was "we feel it adds to the theme of the show." This is because it was a UNIQUE complaint, one probably never sent in before or rarely does.

So the viewer lost in this occasion. But i do believe it will have been talked about and taken seriously.

- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The odd one out

Today in the news estimated explanation limit reaches 3 billion.
On my walk through the city i spotted 6 superman shirts. Come on! Be original.

There are few of you actually subscribed to the Daily Crumb via email. Some even by choice! But not this time. Occasionally posts like this will not go straight to your email. These are the few that only reach as far as the Daily Crumb itself. We are here, at the Daily Crumb.

Posts like these have nothing of interest to read. Seriously nothing. I know your emails are quite plop as well but these are really really plop.

This post has absolutely nothing to read. Nothing interesting to feed on, no knowledge or information. No decent news or even an interview (Like we ever have them). No jokes and no fictional story about the spinning fan behind me falling from the ceiling and chopping my assistant with an insane name into millions of pieces.

You will take away nothing from this article. I actually just lied. You will take away a frown from this article. A big frown, a droopy one. This frown will give your ageing face a few more wrinkles.

This post will not make you want to eat or drink. I tell you i went to the shop today and only planned on getting a fredo or something. But oh my gosh Dairy Milk Chocolate, thats right, the original, plain, non exciting chocolate bar has a NEW LOGO. Nothing special, just bigger text, maybe some more curves on letters.
and i bought it.
Their plan worked. My brain made me think it was a little bit thicker than it was before the logo change. I have no evidence of this. Actually looking at a picture online all i think they did is change the text to white! Those clever silly people.

This post will not make you cry. It may make you feel an inner anger, not a violent one, just a small tick. This tick will cause you to stop reading either here or after the first paragraph way up there.
Read down and read up. Can you read backwards? Calm down!!! Why do they say, EAT UP!? Would standing up at the table not be rude?

As per usual The Daily Crumb has lied to you. Not only you have got this article in email form but everyone on earth. Go on, ask a friend.
ERROR: This post was not emailed to anyone.

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

5/8/09

In soap operas no one can say "You don't know how it feels!!" Because everyone in the square does.